15 Crashtestdummy Rd
Dear Sir / Madam
Thank you for sending me an unsolicited fax from your company www.thebestvandals.co.uk.
I feel I need to complain bitterly because I dispute your claim at being the best vandals in the UK as my younger brother is a master at it.
Only last week he managed to graffiti the inside of Colwyn Bay Police Headquarters, smash all the windows in an old people’s care home and ‘key’ eleven cars in one street.
I see you have the Citroen Berlingo at £239 - is that a figure he would get for wrecking the said vehicle? As there’s a showroom nearby and he could do 20 or so overnight and clean up (so to speak). Would the damage include slashing the tyres as well?
If you are serious about your claim about being the best vandals in the UK then I suggest we arrange a vand-off. Perhaps the first to make news in the Daily Mail ?
I await your reply…